


Alive

by kikimiko



Series: Feeling Alive [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Tsukishima Kei is a Dork, send help, sports anime hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikimiko/pseuds/kikimiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had started with a cough and sometimes a dizzy spell or two after a hard practice or the long bike ride back home, and now when Hinata opened his eyes he was in field of flowers, and all he wants to do is cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> There are pairing in this but you have to squint, a lot.  
> The lyrics are from the song "Light" by Sleeping At Last
> 
> A lot of people have reviewed this fanfiction and the other one connected to this in the series and I just want to make it clear exactly how much I appreciate those comments. I do very little writing outside of fanfiction and it means a lot to me that so many people are reading these and like them! So I jest wanted to say thank you!!!!

May these words be the first

To find your ears.

The world is brighter than the sun

Now that you’re here.

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust

To the overwhelming light surrounding us

* * *

 

When Hinata opened his eyes he was in a field of flowers, the sweet scent and bright light catching him off guard before a figure leaned over and shaded him from the sun. Squinting when the person offered a hand, Hinata took it and was helped to his feet, wobbling only a little. Glancing up to look at the face of the person who had just helped him, Hinata flinched back because standing in front of him was a person he only recognized by the few pictures that his mother kept around the house.

“Look at you, you’ve gotten so big! The last time I saw you, you were just a small thing sleeping away in your crib!” the man said, smiling slightly.

“You’re my grandpa, right? My mother’s father?” Hinata asked hesitantly. “She has a couple pictures of you that she has at home. What are you doing here anyway? Actually, where am I? I don’t remember falling asleep here.”

“Indeed I am! Glad to here she’s told you about me! Wasn’t sure I she would seeing how long it’s been. Name’s Ichijou but you just call me Gramps! I’m here to welcome you of course! Think hard, Shouyou, what do you remember. It’ll come to you.” The older man, Gramps, said as he plopped down beside where Hinata had been laying.

Sitting back down with him, Hinata though hard about what he could remember. At first nothing came to mind, other than his day-to-day life but then he remembered the events of the past few weeks.

* * *

 

It had started with a cough and sometimes a dizzy spell or two after a hard practice or the long bike ride back home. Hinata hadn’t really thought anything about it, figured he might have a cold or maybe he jest needed to rest a little more at night instead of staying up so late to play video games. It didn’t go away. The day he realized it might be something serious was during practice. He had been working on the new quick with Kageyama for Spring-High when his ears started buzzing and everything became blurry. Shaking his head a few times he realized he was sitting on the ground with half the team looming over him.

Daichi had immediately declared that Hinata was not to practice any more for the day and gruffly told him to go get some water. Hinata followed his advice even as he pouted. Again he didn’t think much of the dizzy spell, those had been happening all the time lately and he figured he had been pushing himself just a little too hard. As he was standing in front of the fountain however, he began to cough, and cough, and cough some more. When it finally stopped and Hinata pulled his hand away it was smeared red. Quickly rinsing it off he made sure to wipe his face off as well. Hinata knew that coughing up blood was never a good sign but he didn’t want his teammates to know. Not yet at least, he would talk to his mom first, hopefully there was some medicine that he could take than would make it go away quickly.

Dashing back to the clubroom Hinata hurriedly got dressed and ran to the gym where the team was still practicing. Daichi was standing near the door talking to Coach Ukai so it was really easy to tell him that he still wasn’t feeling good and was going to go home early without the rest of the team knowing. Thanking them and promising to see them the next day at practice as long as he was feeling better, Hinata quickly ran home.

* * *

 

The next day found Hinata not at school and therefore not at practice all because his mother had dragged him to the doctor’s office after he had told her what had been happening for the last week. As he waited for the doctor and his mother to come back into the room, Hinata grumbled to himself, he should have just waited for it to go away on its own, now here he was missing practice! Hinata had been waiting at least an hour for them to come back into the room and he was far past the point of impatience when they finally did. The look on his mother’s face drained all the annoyance right out of him.

* * *

 

Hinata was reeling. The hospital had sent his mother and him home after everything had been explained. ‘What kind of cliché thing is this?’ he thought to himself. Lung cancer, stage 3 and he had miraculously felt few of the symptoms, which is how it advanced so far before detection. According by the tests the doctors had ran his was fast advancing and his one hope of treatment with radiation was not possible given the way the cancer cells had started working on his heart. Hinata thought maybe it told how idiotic he was that his first thought upon being told was that he wouldn’t be able to play volleyball anymore. His second had been that he didn’t want the team to know.

Of course they had to be told though. Hinata was dying. He was going to pulled from school and put into the hospital where they would attempt to prolong his life on the off chance that some miracle drug came about or something stupid he was sure but all Hinata cared about was that he wasn’t going to make it to the top. He wouldn’t be the last one standing in the court like he’d always believed. Maybe that was selfish of him. His mother was crying in her room. He could hear her through the thin walls of his home. Natsu hadn’t been told anything but she could sense something and had cried herself to sleep. His father had been called and he would be flying in on a plane sometime this week after he got all his travel arrangements needed. The only ones left were Hinata’s friends and he would have to tell them tomorrow when he went to collect all his things from school.

“Oh God.” Hinata choked out. It was sad and pathetic and he was so scared. He was dying and there was nothing he could do and he’d never get to play volleyball again and he would be leaving his mom and Natsu alone again, like they’d been after his parents had divorced and he’d lived with his father for a year. His friends would pity him and he didn’t want that and how would they win Spring-High without the new quick? And God he would be staying in the hospital starting tomorrow and that just sounded like the worst thing in the world and it’s not how he wants to go. He’s only fifteen how fair is this?

Hinata barely sleeps that night, and when he does it’s with tear stained cheeks to match the rest of his family’s.

* * *

 

Hinata went at the end of the day. After classes had let out and all those without club activities had already left. He collected his belongings and thanked his teachers who looked on with sad eyes and told him goodbye. And then he went to he gym with Takeda-sensei, eyes watering, leading the way. Hinata waited outside while Takeda-sensei went inside and called for a team meeting.

He didn’t know how he was going to phrase it. ‘I’m dying,’ or ‘I’m quitting the team’ or ‘hey you know how I would sometimes get on your guys’ nerves, well no problem because give a few weeks and you’ll never have to see me again.” Anything he could come up with sound blunt and a little bit cruel and he loved these guys. They were like a second family; even Tsukishima who could be a pain in the ass was like an annoying brother to him. And then he didn’t have time to think about it because Takeda-sensei was waving him in.

They were all sitting on the floor and they looked a little surprised but happy to see him come in. Kageyama through a few confused looks his way but then turned back to Takeda-sensei when he began talking.

“I want you all to be very quite and listen to what Hinata has to say. No interruptions, and please be patient.” Takeda-sensei told the other and then he along with the entire team, managers and Coach included all turned to look at Hinata.

“I… I’m sorry.” Hinata apologized and bowed, holding that posture as he continued so he wouldn’t have to see the looks on their faces. “I will not be able to continue playing volleyball anymore. I-“

Hinata was cut off by the immediate loud uproar from his teammates. Various members were shouting and Hinata couldn’t make heads or tails what was being said by anyone but all of it sounded angry.

“SHUT UP!”

Hinata jumped and everyone again turned to Takeda-sensei of all people as he stood there angrily and waited as everyone sat there holding their breath. “You will let Hinata finish and when he is done you may ask him questions. But one at a time.” After having said his peace he deflated slightly and everyone turned back to look at Hinata once more.

“I’m sorry.” Hinata apologized again. Blinking quickly so he wouldn’t start crying in front of everyone. “I haven’t been feeling well for awhile and I went to the doctor yesterday. They figured out what was wrong with and I’m going to- I’ll need to-…” Taking a deep breath Hinata squared his shoulders and looked over the heads of his teammates so he wouldn’t have to see their faces and blurted it out. “I’m dying.”

Silence. Nobody moved. It didn’t even sound like anyone was breathing and Hinata flinched when there was a sudden squeaking of noise and before he knew it he was being wrapped up in a pair of warm arms and the sent of Suga-san. He felt something warm drip down his face and thought that he had finally lost the battle with his tears but then he looked up and realized that it was Suga crying and not him, at least not yet anyway. Suga had made the first move but before he knew it the warm bodies of his teammates surrounded Hinata on all sides. That was about the same time Hinata lost the battle with his own tears and let them silently drip down his face as he was passed from person to person so the could all get a chance to hug him.

* * *

 

That had been one of the last few good moments he’d had with his friends. From that point on he spent everyday and night in the hospital and while they came to visit him religiously they were all still in school so they couldn’t be their all the time. The time with his family was hard, they were stiffly quiet, not sure what to say and almost too lost in their own grief already to even attempt to comfort Hinata himself with his. That’s not to say that they didn’t try but they weren’t able to joke around with him or anything like the volleyball team was still able to do.

One weekend afternoon he got a visit from the entire Nekoma volleyball team. That had been both fun and painful and that night instead of one of his parents staying with him it was Kenma and Kuroo. They had to go back to Tokyo the next day of course but they promised to visit again soon and he was happy to know that they cared so much about him.

Later that week he got two visits that he had not been expecting at all. The first was when Oikawa had stalked in with Iwaizumi and a reluctant looking Ushijima being dragged along behind like a disobedient puppy. He had almost laughed them back out of the room. They sat with him for an hour, Oikawa and Iwaizumi acting completely normal and Ushijima looking constipated.

Shortly after they left Bokuto and Akaashi wandered in. Most of the visit was spent with Hinata watching as Akaashi scolded Bokuto for various things and then Bokuto pouting about it. They too promised to visit again soon and Hinata nodded as they left before he had to lay down. He loved the visitors but he was always sleepy anymore.

The next weekend he got a visit from Aone and he started to wonder exactly who all his teammates had called because he new that his parents didn’t know any of these people.

* * *

 

It ended on a Friday. Hinata and his parents had known it was coming soon. His team had probably suspected because he hadn’t been allowed to have as many visitors recently and all of a sudden he was again. He had been laying in the hospital bed just listing to the team bicker and tell stories about what had been going on. All of the actual players were crowded in various chairs around his bed while Yacchi, Shimizu, Coach and Takeda-sensei all hung back by the wall watching on in amusement. His parents had taken Natsu down to the cafeteria to get some food and give his friends the needed room for all of them to crowd in there. He knew he had a smile on his face; he was trying to keep his eyes open so he could watch with everyone as Kageyama and Tsukishima argued about whom had given him the best stuffed animal of all things. Nobody was looking at him, he knew because he was watching them, but he couldn’t really watch anymore because his eyes just wouldn’t stay open anymore. He could hear loud beeping and distant yelling and he was sad because he knew it was time to go and he wanted to stay so much but in the end he was just happy to know that all these people cared for him so much.

* * *

 

“So I’m dead then?” Hinata asked, looking up at his grandfather. He already knew the answer but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to make sure.

“Yes, welcome to the afterlife! I’m hate that you had to come here so soon but there’s nothing I can do about it so we just got to smile and move on.” Gramps smiled and stood back up, dragging Hinata with him. “Now let me give you a tour. This field that we are in now is where people always first wake up. Anytime that someone who really missed you and wanted to see you or you know anything along those lines passes over you’ll just know. When you know they are coming you just come here to meet them. Have your reunion and you can explain to them about the afterlife. I have a feeling you’ll do that a lot. From what I can tell you left an impression on all the people you left behind.”

Hinata jumped at that last bit. “How can you tell? Do you have a way of watching what goes on in the, uh… living world?”

“Of course there’s a way to do that!” Gramps laughed but when he saw the excited gleam in Hinata’s eyes he quickly continued. “But you’re not allowed to use it yet. You need to have been here for a couple years before you’re allowed to use it, just to make sure you don’t spend all you’re time watching those you left behind!” Frowning at the dejected look on Hinata’s face, the older man cuffed him on the back ahead and started walking. “Come on kid, let me show you what all we’ve got here! I’m pretty sure there’s a volleyball court!”

* * *

 

Hinata had been dead for about ten years when the first person he knew died. He was understandably surprised to see Tsukishima lying in the field waiting for him, he hadn’t though Tsuki had really cared for him enough to call out for him. When Tsukishima opened his eyes and squinted up into the light, Hinata leaned over to block the sun for him just as his Gramps had done for Hinata when he arrived.

The expression on Tsukishima’s face when he realized it was Hinata leaning over him was hilarious. Tsukishima jerked up into a sitting position and just stared, his eyes blinking rapidly and bright red spots on his cheek.

“Hey Tsukishima, long time no see I guess?” Hinata laughed a little nervously while Tsukishima continued to stare.

Finally breaking his gaze away from Hinata, Tsukishima scoffed and looked away. “So I guess I’m dead then?” Tsukishima asked while he kept glancing at Hinata out of the corner of his eyes.

“Ah yea! Do you remember what happened? I had a little trouble remembering at first when I got here!” Hinata laughed a little and jumped up. Not looking at Tsuki in the face because Hinata did know it sucked knowing that one of his friends was now dead even if that did mean they got to be there with him.

“Of course I do, I was in a car accident.” Tsukishima scoffed a little and stood up as well. He hesitated little and then reached out and hugged Hinata. Surprising the smaller boy nearly out of his skin. “I’m glad to see that you’re doing well, everyone still misses you.” Tsukishima whispered before he stepped away from Hinata and straightened his glasses. “So tell me about the afterlife”

Hinata stood a little mystified for a moment, off to the side before he grinned and latched onto Tsukishima’s arm, dragging him away and chattering the whole time.

* * *

 

Oikawa had been next, followed not to long after by Ushijima. He still couldn’t understand why those two had called out for him. Tsukishima he could get after he thought about it. They had been on the same team and for all his gruff exterior Tsukishima was actually a really caring guy. But the other two, he had only talked to a handful of times and most of those were through a net with taunts as they competed for the win.

It was mildly funny watching from an outsider’s point of view he was sure, but once those two had come Tsukishima rarely gave him a moment alone. He followed him everywhere and Hinata supposed that in his own way it was Tsukishima attempting to protect him even if he didn’t need it in the afterlife let alone from Oikawa or Ushijima. Especially Ushijima who had lost all of his intimidation factor that day so long ago when he was dragged into Hinata’s hospital room by someone who was smaller than him by quite a bit.

Aone came a couple weeks later and Hinata was again mystified by the fact that he had been called for by someone he can only remember talking to once or twice, hospital visit included, but by that time he had decided to just go with it and he brought Aone back to the little neighborhood that had begun to form around his clearing. Aone already had a little house waiting for him there when got, such is the miracle of the afterlife Hinata always supposed. Filling that same clearing was Oikawa and Ushijima’s house since they had decided to live together until the people they were waiting for came. Tsukishima had been living with Hinata so he figured it was just a normal thing.

It was another ten years before anyone else came through and it was Yamamoto who was lying there in the field for Hinata this time around. When Hinata brought him back to the clearing, he too had a small house waiting for him and while the clearing had always held a peaceful noise of those living there before, once Yamamoto got there the peace and quiet only came once he passed out or someone knocked him out.

Iwaizumi followed not quite a year after Yamamoto had passed over and Hinata did not get the usual call for him. Instead it was lighter but still there and he realized why when Oikawa came stumbling out of his house and looked over to Hinata. Apparently Iwaizumi wanted to see both of them. After Hinata had let Iwaizumi assure himself that Hinata was healthy here (were they all worried about that?) he quickly left Oikawa alone with him and went back home, noticing as he did that there was no new house for Iwaizumi waiting, to make up for it though Oikawa and Ushijima’s house had gotten just a tad bit bigger.

Kenma was next. He had died from cancer of all things, which left a bitter taste in Hinata’s mouth if he thought about it for too long. When Kenma realized it was Hinata standing over him he gripped the collar of Hinata shirt and yanked him into a hug. He followed that up by a litany of ‘I miss you.’ When Kenma had calmed down Hinata explained things on the way back to the clearing. When they got to the clearing there was another new house there but it wasn’t for Kenma. Apparently now that Kenma was here Tsukishima no longer felt the need to be Hinata’s guard dog anymore and had gotten his own house.

Kenma and Hinata spent hours talking about what was going on with their friends who were still alive, or at least what had been going on before Kenma had died. They laughed a little at the fact that Kageyama had married to Yacchi of all people, it hadn’t been something that Hinata had seen coming but then again he had been gone for nearly thirty years now and people change. Kenma assured him that they were happy. Apparently they had even named one of their kids after him and Hinata secretly hoped that kid had as much energy as he did when he was young, just to torment Kageyama a little.

Hinata regretted it when a year later he felt that pull again and this time it was Kageyama lying there waiting for him. That reunion was almost as painful as Kenma’s had been. Kageyama had been and still was his best friend after all. It didn’t last long of course, Hinata and Kageyama had always bickered about everything and always would. But Hinata explained everything to him and when they got back to the clearing Kageyama had a little house of his own that was somehow squeezed between Tsukishima’s house and Hinata’s. Tsukishima was not amused.

Now that Kageyama was in the after life with Hinata, he felt it was time he tried playing volleyball again. He had waited all this time because as much as he loved Kenma and knew how good of a setter he was, Kageyama was his partner and it didn’t feel right playing without him. They still managed to blow everyone’s minds with their quick strike.

Bokuto and Akaashi came next and they were lying on that field together when Hinata got there. Hinata again explained everything and he was a little surprised when they both pulled him into a hug before he led them back to the little clearing. The little clearing that wasn’t so little anymore seeing as how it had widened a fair amount to add room for what would eventually be more houses Hinata assumed. Bokuto and Akaashi had their own house tucked in by Oikawa’s house. Hinata still wasn’t sure that those groups should be living so close together between Oikawa and Bokuto’s loudness and Ushijima’s attempts at strutting about like he owned the place but Akaashi and Iwaizumi worked well together at putting the three in their places which was always a riot to watch.

Around that same time, Hinata’s father came through and Hinata spent some time with him before his father went off to find other people that he knew. They still saw each other regularly but Hinata’s pretty sure that his dad was intimidated by all of his weird friends.

When Hinata’s mom came through a little while after she threatens them all into obedience before she too wonders off to go find her father and mother and maybe, Hinata hopes, his father too.

Takeda-sensei comes through about a year after his mother. Hinata is a little worried at first when he leads him back to the clearing because all the other adults tend to steer clear of the ‘crazy bunch’ that live in the clearing, and Hinata knows that technically all of the people that live there lived to be adults except him but they all look as they did when they were in high school. His worry goes away when everyone welcomes the man with open arms. Takeda-sensei had his own little house too and he gallantly took up the roll of peacekeeper that was sorely needed. His first action was to save Yamamoto from Tsukishima after Yamamoto had somehow managed to dye to Tsuki’s hair pink.

Sometime around then Yacchi comes over too but for once Hinata’s not the one to go get someone and he only notices as Kageyama leads her into the clearing and into the house he’ll now have to share with her. Yacchi makes up for not calling him later by nearly smothering him with hugs. Hinata finds it mildly amusing that both Kageyama and Kenma get jealous over that. Tsukishima find it hilarious and laughs in their faces. Hinata sits on the steps leading into his house and watches as Kageyama chases Tsuki around and Kenma subtly trips them both.

‘It’s nice here’ He thinks to himself.

Yamaguchi comes through another two years later. The call for him was the same as with Iwaizumi and when he walked out of his house Tsukishima joined him. When Yamaguchi opened his eyes and saw them both standing over him Yamaguchi just covered his mouth and cried. It had been almost forty years since he had seen Hinata and thirty since he saw Tsukishima. They helped him up together and took turns hugging him until he calmed down. Then Tsukishima led Yamaguchi back to what was now their house and Hinata lingered in the field.

It had been so long ago now that he had died and first woken up here. He was happy now but he did still miss it. There were so many things he still wished he could have done back then. He knew though that was ok, he surely wasn’t the only one who felt that way and at least here they could all be together forever. Best of all he would never get too old and not be able to play volleyball anymore. Hinata lingered out there until Kenma came to drag him back home. Smiling as he followed along.

Ukai, Kuroo and Lev all came through at the same time. At first Hinata thought they’d been in an accident together but it was more along the lines of them just having horrible timing. Hinata and Kenma had been called for that one and it had turned into those three males posturing about who had won and Hinata laughed until he cried. They led them back to the clearing and Hinata was a little embarrassed when Ukai ruffled his hair and then ran into the house Takeda-sensei was living in. He was then blown away when Kuroo and Lev entered the house that had appeared for them to share. He supposed nicknames about their respective teams being full of gay volleyball players weren’t too far off the mark. ‘Oh well.’

Nishinoya and Asahi followed about a year later. Hinata went out to greet them alone and he was swept up in such a crushing hug when they saw him that if he wasn’t already dead he would have suffocated. He loved it. Their house was tucked along neatly beside Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s house and when they got there they went and gave bear hugs to everyone. Hinata wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed on their behalf or amused that Nishinoya had caught Ushijima up in it too.

Daichi and Suga came together. Miraculously they had both just passed on in their sleep at the same time. Hinata giggled and teased them about it until Daichi chased him halfway back to the clearing. They too had a house all their own tucked in corner of the clearing. There weren’t many places left in the clearing and Hinata knew that meant almost everyone he loved was here.

Tanaka was the last. He lived to be a ripe old age of one hundred and when he came over the whole Karasuno team met him on the field. He cried, a lot and the first person he hugged was Hinata.

Hinata knew that his sister would come over sometime soon but he also knew that he wouldn’t be the one she called for. She had only been five when he died and she probably didn’t even remember him. He was surprisingly okay with that. Hinata knew he’d have plenty of time to get to know her now and besides, as much as he loved his parents and sister, he had his family already with him, they were all together, in a clearing filled with laughter in the woods.

Hinata knew he was dead, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt so alive.

* * *

 

Сause you are loved.

You are loved more than you know.

I hereby pledge all of my days

To prove it so.

Though your heart is far too young to realize

The unimaginable light you hold inside,

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> This was by no means an accurate representation for what happens to someone when they have cancer Please keep that in mind!
> 
> I'm now in the process of writing a side-along story for this told from Tsukishima's side. I hope to have it done soon so stay tuned!!


End file.
